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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) Review


The movie that was absolutely never going to please anybody. Oh boy. This is a spoiler-free review (Above the Read More Line that hopefully doesn’t disappear)

1. Supernatural or psychological or metaphorical in someway? Supernatural of course. Supernatural but I think the monsters were a metaphor for the draft.

2. How scary was it? It felt like a little geared more towards kids but there were still some really solid moments and creative sequences. 6.2/10

3. Jump scares or nah? A bit.

4. Is there blood and gore? No. Good body horror though.

5. On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being Alien: Covenant), how dumb were the characters? Yeah they were fairly dumb. “Hey, I had a dream that leads me to believe if I go any further in this place we’re going, I am going to die. I also don’t see why I need to be here for this.” “Fuck you, you’re coming.” 7.2

6. Does that story make logical sense if you think about it too long? I mean, not really.

I know going into this, everyone had their own ideas on what a Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark movie would look like. Some wanted an anthology, which I understand. Some expected it to be rated R, which I understand a bit less, given these are children’s books and children still read them. Anyways, instead of an anthology, which the studio didn’t go with because anthology movies gross like 3 dollars, we’re given a super meta movie about kids who find a scary book that writes scary stories in which they die. It feels a lot like an Amblin movie, but some of the sequences are really disturbing and take this above the kid scare line. Overall I thought it was a fun and engaging movie that looked great even if it wasn’t super scary and the plot wasn’t the most original. Upon exiting the theatre, I didn’t feel as blessed as I thought I would when I first saw the trailer, but that’s okay (mainly because It: Chapter 2 is coming out in less than a month).

One thing I wanted to point out are how amazing the practical effects are in this movie. The monsters look like they do on the page but in real life. Harold looks great and the pale lady from the dream looks fucking nuts. The Jangly Man (a combination of the monsters from a few different stories most notably Me-Tie-Dough-Tie-Walker) moves like a mother fucker and there’s actually a person in that costume. This, paired with a game cast and a fun plot, make it worth the watch. I’ll give it a 7/10.

It’s doing well at the box office and we’ll probably get a sequel. I guess I hope for a slightly stronger story tying it all together.

Spoiler-y thoughts below

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by cnkguy
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) Review

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